Jess is driving right now. We’re in a 2015 Ford F350 six pack long bed towing a 23 foot 1972 Airstream Safari tandem axle trailer. All totaled we’re looking at about 65 feet of steel, rubber and aluminum rolling down the highway . We’ve had a running joke talking about the rules for driving a large slow vehicle. We have turned it into a set of chants, almost a mantra.

• I am a large slow moving vehicle. I will make slow well indicated lane changes.
• I will look all the way to the horizon for things that may need a reaction, for I am slow to stop and not nimble enough to swerve.
• I will stay in the right hand lane, for the fast lane is no place for me. Danger and stress and crying are in that lane and I will only use it when I must pass a shower vehicle and even then only after much contemplation.
• I will forgo close in parking spaces and resign myself to walking from the boonies.
• I will not turn without ensuring my blinkers have been well and truly blunked and all other cars know my intentions. Even then I will round a corner in the manner of an old man with bad knees and failing eyesight
• Parking lots are treacherous dangerous confined spaces. I will not attempt to enter a parking lot unless I have an exit strategy already in place.
• Those yellow caution signs that everyone else ignores actually carry information meant for me. I shall obey them, for there is wisdom in their words.
• I will not yield the right lane nor change speed when you blindly enter the freeway. You are light and nimble and I am a large slow moving vehicle. I am the rock you must swim around.
• I don’t even consider entering Drive-Thrus. For my rear end is large and 40 feet behind me.